R.LUM.R 01. Making A Choice

Melatonin doesn't work anymore

Tired, wired on my back on the floor

Over-thinking thoughts like never before

Analyzing shit that I should ignore

Everybody’s gonna know you a fake

Make you think that you can be who you can't

Lay in wait until you make a mistake

Expose you as the fucking phony you play

I don't want to spend my 20’s tired, drunk and alone

Justifying why I keep you up all night on the phone

I know say it's cause I love to hear the sound of your voice

But it's more accurate to say it's just more clear than the noise

That I can always kinda hear in spite of all that I do

It's television static playing loud from another room

To which I've never found the door to go and just turn it off

But I can never stop looking for it

I will be, I will be, I will be

I'm making a choice (My strength)

I'm making a choice

I will be, I will be, I will be, my strength

Doesn’t matter what you think that you learned

I don’t think you get the way that this works

You too dark to ever be in the light

Born too wrong to ever hope to be right

No one gave you the permission to speak

You are not in a position to lead

What would make you think that you tell the truth?

What would make you think that it could be you?

I know I think a lot about my different fears and the shame

Whether I'm black or white enough to win approval or fame

And if I’m checking off the boxes keeping framily pleased

But still relaying things that let ‘em know this really is me

If I get old will I think fondly of the things that I did?

Or will I wish that I had never made it out Bradenton

The only way I'll know is seeing this shit through to the end

And being sure to build a family from friends

I'm making a choice

I will be, I will be, I will be

I'm making a choice (My strength)

I’m making a choice

I will be, I will be, I will be, my strength